A note from a friend

I got this message from a friend on the day Jance and I got married.

I love that picture because it's the first time I have seen a man touch you and your not flinching. You and I have known each other longer than you and Jance and you flinch when I hugged you. I'm not mad....I'm just saying that's how I know it's special.

I am so glad she sent it, after what I went through I never thought I would be able to be loved or even let love in. Jance broke down my walla faster than I could have ever imagined. I am so in love with him and I never thought that I would find a man who is so accepting of what happened just wants to love me.

I am so grateful for Jance, I thank Heavenly Father multiple times a day for him. I also got super lucky and his family accepted me and my past and are here for me.

I love them. I am so blessed. I just wanted to share this so others might understand how special it really is.

A crazy couple of days

I feel like i am in a dream.....

I cant believe that I am married to the man of my dreams. He is the most amazing man I have meet and he accepts my past as it is. He helps me so much with my anxiety and lets me know I am perfect for him. He is the greatest blessing in my life I am so very blessed and couldn't ask for a better man to be my husband.

I am loving being his wife.

Its crazy how different it feels. ( we all know i was married before) Its just crazy how different a loving and caring relationship feels as apposed to an abusive and destructive one. I have prayed and prayed that Heavenly Father would allow me to know the difference and he has. I couldn't be more grateful for him allowing Jance to find me.

I have never felt so accepted and so wanted before. His entire family accepts me for who I am and what has happened they are all very understanding and its amazing.

I know we hurt a few people with how we got married, but I assure you we did pray about it and felt like it was and is the right thing to do.

I am happier then I have been in a very long time. I cant wait to see what the future holds for us. I am loving this new and wonderful journey and I am just looking forward to what Heavenly Father has in store for us.

-KM

We Got MARRIED!!!!! (our love story)

Wow... I didn't think I would be writing this kinda blog anytime soon :)

So Jance and I met a few months back at an FHE in the YSA ward in Pullman. We didn't actually start talking until this past Sunday the 11th we spent the whole day talking. He came over to my house on Sunday evening and we were watching the Princess Bride and he just blurted out will you be my girlfriend and I said yes.

Monday he came over and we were talking about life and childhood and I was already in love with him. We talked about getting married and how crazy we were for already wanting to plan it. (We were looking at end of march)

I prayed about it and told myself how crazy it was, but I couldn't stop from falling. He came over Monday and told me the same thing.

We saw each other again on Thursday and I meet his wonderful amazing parents on Friday.

So on Friday he picked me up and we went and He meet Heather and David. Then we went to his parents house and I was super nervous but they were/are so loving and welcoming its amazing. After we left his parents house we went and talked and Jance said Will you marry me and I said Yes and then we looked at each other and said why wait.

So early Saturday am we headed to Coeur d'alene, ID and on the way we started to feel bad that we were eloping and not telling any one. So Jance called his parents and his brother and then they called everyone else and we actually had a little wedding ceremony thanks to his mom and sisters and family.

His sister in law set up the ceremony at the Roosevelt Inn in Coeur d'alene, and got us a night stay. His sister got us rings. They got us flowers. They all showed up to support us weather they agreed with our choice or not. I felt so much love. His Dad walked me down the aisle and that means more to me then I can put in to words. His Grandma gave me something old new borrowed and blue. It truly means a lot to me that they are so loving and accepting.

So we got married in an elopement kinda thing. I am so in love with Jance and I am blessed and grateful that he loves me and accepts me for who I am. I am grateful for the wonderful family that I married into and how amazingly loving and supportive they are.

I will post pictures as soon as I get them. We are very sorry for the shock of this all but we are in love and always will be. We are very sorry to those who couldn't make it. We appreciate all the kind words and love.

Christmas Day

Well Christmas is here!!!

It doesn't feel like christmas. I have never felt more lonely at this time of year then I do for this one.

I don't know if it because this would be Johannalee's first Christmas or what.

I am cooking for some people today, about 10 so maybe the mood will change once people get here. I hope so.

Most of my friends are out of town.  So its been very lonely.

Anyways.

So I made the following for Christmas:

Breakfast Casserole in the Crock-Pot

Donuts

Hot Chocolate in the Crock-pot

Ham

Green Bean Casserole

Stuffing

Yams w/ mini marshmallows

Mashed potatoes

Rolls

Sugar cookies

Fudge

Peppermint Chocolate Cake

It will be very very yummy and I hope I don't have many left overs.

If you want recipes let me know and I will post them for you.

Christmas in Pullman

So this in the first Christmas since the divorce and its a bit strange. I miss my family in Arizona. But oh the blessing I am receiving while being here in Pullman.


I am in the most amazing ward, I have an amazing Bishop and I have great friends.

I have been blessed so dearly.

I know that Heavenly Father loves me, I know that he knows my name.  This is the Christmas season and I haven't felt it until about 5 minutes before I started writing this blog.

I am cooking for about ten people tomorrow. People that also can not be with there families.  We will be a little make shift family tomorrow as we gather to celebrate Christmas. I am so blessed to call Pullman home and I am so blessed to know the wonderful people here.

I am so blessed beyond belief.

-KP

Following the spirit

So as many of you know my life hasn't been that amazing I have gone through a lot and I have been struggling  with forgiveness. Forgiving those that have hurt me in the past. Forgiving my self for allowing the pain to go on for so long but most of all forgiving Heavenly Father.

I felt betrayed by Him and I felt like he intentionally lead me down the wrong path. What I didn't realize is that along that path I learned so much about WHO I am and about how strong I am. I prayed and got an answer and I followed a certain path and it has lead me down a path of hurt, pain strength, friendship, betrayal and a lot of other things. That path has made me so very strong and realize what I want from life.

I have figured out that I am worth so much more than I ever thought. I am a Cherished Daughter of God, and I am so glad that I have meet people in my life that have made me realize that.

I had an amazing time relearning all that I forgot about my Heavenly Father and I am so very thankful for those that have been put in my life to help me realize that even though I have been through a lot of crap in life and that i am carrying around some baggage that I am still worth all the stars in the sky.

I am loving life and I know that I am amazing!

love life, and help others around you.

-KP

Choices Choices Choices...being an adult sucks

Well I have made a decision that I am not yet announcing aloud so if you already know it please don't let the cat out of the bag.

While making this decisions I have come to learn that making them is harder then I thought. I might hurt a few people with the decision but I strongly feel it is were Heavenly Father is leading me to were I need to be.

I am loving that I am being lead to were I am not only needed but to were I  am needing to be so that I can learn the things that I so need to learn.

I know this post is vague but its the best i can do for now. I am being lead to amazing things and here in a few weeks all will be revealed.

I know that Heavenly Father loves me and is caring for me and it is an amazing feeling. I am so blessed with all the friends that I have made and those that are helping me along this wonderful journey. With out the support of  all of those around me I wouldn't be able to do this what i am trying to do. I love you all and I am oh so grateful for all the support and love :) thank you again form the bottom of my heart.

-KP