A calling.....

I am going to get a little personal with this one... bear with me.


So Jance and I received a calling. We got the calling last Sunday before we left for our honeymoon and I was nervous and worried that I wouldn't be able to accept it.  Before I meet Jance I wasn't following and living the Gospel as I should have been.

I felt like I wasn't worthy of a calling. I felt forgiven of the sins I had committed but I still didn't feel worthy.  We went and talked with the Bishop and it was amazing he said I was forgiven (I don't know why I need him to tell me ...it just solidified it I guess).

I am so blessed to be in this Ward and with a Family that reassured me that every thing would be okay.

I have been on a very long journey to become worthy and the Temple is my goal and I know some wont understand this but I will be able to go to the Temple in May for the first time ever to do Baptisms for the dead. I never had the opportunity to go as a youth because of choices I was making so I am beyond excited and can not wait for it to be May!!!

I know with out a doubt in my heart or mind that this is the true church of God. I know that Heavenly Father loves me and that he has opened doors and opportunities for me. I know that Jesus died for me and my sins and the sins of the world. I am blessed and grateful for the priesthood. I know that Heavenly Father blessed me with Jance and I will forever be grateful for him. I know that I am a beloved daughter of God and that trails will come my way but he is always on  my side.

I am so beyond blessed in ways I never thought I would be.

Change

Life has a crazy way of giving you what you need when you need it. I know that Heavenly Father is behind it all. I am grateful that he is always looking out for me.

When Jance and I meet I didn't know that I needed him. Here in a few days it will be 2 months since that faithfully day that he came in to my life.

Since being with Jance my anxiety is lower. Yes I still have anxiety attacks and a few other issues but it is so much easier to work through them and get through them with Jance by my side. He helps me through things I thought would haunt me forever.

I never thought I needed someone in the way that Jance is there for me.  I couldn't have asked for a better husband and friend. I am beyond blessed that Jance wants to take me to the temple. We don't just talk about it, it is a goal that will happen.

I never thought that someone would be so accepting of my past and all of my mistakes. I am never thought someone would want me. I felt ugly and felt like I was damaged goods.

 I now know, and not just because of Jance, that I am a beautiful person inside and out. I feel more beautiful than I ever have. It is amazing what can change when your environment changes. It is amazing how a loving and caring relationship can make everything brighter. I am so in love with Jance and I am excited to see where life takes us. I am loving life and all that it is giving us and letting us experience. I am so grateful that I can now ride the rollercoasters of life with Jance.

I am feeling more love then I can ever remember feeling. I am striving every day to be the best me I can be and I am blessed and thankful that Jance is there for me every step of the way.

I was not looking for Jance but I will forever be grateful and thankful that Heavenly Father allowed us to cross paths that fateful day. I am so blessed that we both followed the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

I am so very blessed.

-KM

Emotions and thoughts....

So many of you know that I do not express emotions very well. Well being in therapy and having Jance I have opened up a lot more. It is amazing how awesome it is to be able to be open all the time.

I wasn't ever able to be 100% honest and open before. I wasnt able to be 100% myself either. I feel so good about myself now. Jance never puts me down, and when I put myself down he is there to pick me up and uplift me.

Emotions are a thing I kept hidden for a very long time. I hide who I was and what was going on in my life. I was only 100% honest and true to those that knew better. I wore a mask of fake smiles and fake happiness.

I haven't been this genuinely happy in a very long time. I am able to talk openly about how I feel and what is going on in my mind. My thoughts and opinions matter to Jance and I have never had that before. I have never been a number one priority until Jance came into my life.

I am beyond bless to be Jance's wife. He is the most amazing and supportive man that I know. He loved me for me and accepts all of my scars (that are now finally fading).

I am so blessed and so grateful that I not only have Jance in my life but the family I gained when I married him is one of the best gifts ever.

I am happier now then I truly ever have been. It's amazing what happens when you follow the promptings of the still small voice and follow the path Heavenly Father lays out for you.

-KM

Priesthood and My Amazing husband

I am so grateful that my husband has the power of the Priesthood. I am so thankful that I can turn to him when I am in need.

I am grateful that he keeps himself worthy so that he can use the power that the Lord has entrusted him with.

For those who don't know what a priesthood blessing is here is a link that explains it a bit:

https://www.lds.org/youth/article/importance-of-priesthood-blessings?lang=eng

Since I moved to Washington the first time in 2009. I never lived with a worthy priesthood holder. I was never able to access the blessings whenever I needed them. I would always have to call someone not that those people I called ever minded but I felt like a burden.

So the fact that my husband is a worthy priesthood holder. Its an amazing gift and I am so very blessed that he is worthy and keeps himself that way.

I know I talk about how amazing Jance is a lot but he is very amazing. If you know me well, you know that I put myself down a lot especially in times where I am stuck in bed all day and can not get my list of To Dos done. I feel like a bad wife when I can't do the things I need/am supposed to do. He tells me how amazing I am and how thankful he is for me.

I never knew that this is what true love is supposed to be like.

He is there for me when I am sad and picks me back up when I fall down. He truly is the best husband. Heavenly Father blessed us in finding one another. He is the best man, that could ever have found me. I am so blessed that we were on the right path at the right time to be able to find each other.

I am so blessed that Jance and I followed the promptings we received and that we got married when we did.  I wasn't looking to get married and I was not expecting to find the love of my life so soon, It was not in my plan but it was in Heavenly Fathers and I am glad that we both followed the small still voice as it lead us to each other and that we were able to get married and have the support of our loved ones.

I know not everyone understands why we got married so fast. I hope you all trust us when we say that we followed the spirit and the promptings we received from Heavenly Father. I have never been this happy before and Jance is amazing. He handles my anxiety issues and my PTSD so amazingly well. He is very understanding about it all and is just the most caring and loving husband. I will forever be grateful and thankful that I was blessed to be able to be his wife.

-KM

One month

I cant believe that tomorrow  we will have been married for a month. It has been an amazing journey so far and it will continue to be. Its hasn't been perfect we have had a few ups and downs but its how we handle them that is amazing to me. We are stronger together.

The way that Jance loves me is amazing to me and I thank Heavenly Father every day for allowing Jance in my life,

Its crazy how fast the time goes by. I am loving married life. I am so grateful for Jance and his family.

Heavenly Father had truly blessed me. I am beyond grateful for all that he has given me. I have an amazing husband who loves me for me and accepts all my perfect imperfections. I may be a mess at times but all he sees is the beauty in the mess.

I dont know how I got so lucky but I am sure glad that Jance found me.

Valentines Day

What an amazing Valentines Day we had.

I got gifts from my husband and others.

Candy cane hearts from the Nelsons 

Bags f Candy from each other 

Ballons I got Jance 

And Hagrid....The yorkie puppy Jance got me 

It truly was an amazing day even though Jance was sick. We stayed in and got pizza and watched a movie. It was the best :)

Wow...2 weeks....

Its been two weeks since we got married.

It feels like so much longer than that though at times. I feel like I have been with Jance forever.

I  am so blessed to have him as my husband forever.

We are also planning a reception and the plans are coming together. I am getting a wedding dress :).

I have been sick for the past 5 days. Jance has been by my side taking care of me and I know its not easy because I am a brat when I am sick. I have looked like crap, and just feel gross and He still tells me I am beautiful.

I am so beyond bless to have not only meet Jance but I am his wife. He chose me to be with him forever.

These past two weeks have been amazing. I was thinking yesterday how Jance and his family can hug me and I don't flinch. I still flinch when friends I have know 6-10 yrs try to hug me. I feel like I am meant to be here. They get me if that makes sense. His whole family loves me and is there for us. I have been so blessed. I am so grateful and thankful that I have become apart of this family.

I am excited to see what the future holds for Jance and I.

-KM