9 months

Woohoo!! We have made it 9 entire months!! I am so in love with Jance.

So a little update:

We are on the road of infertility, I did a round of Clomid so we are praying that it works. I have never had the side affects that I had this round, I got the migraine and blurry vision it was terrible. I was/am hormonal and keep having to put myself in check.

Jance is being super amazing as usual.

I should be starting Physical Therapy here soon to help my back and hip and shoulder issues.

I am still blessed and I know that everything is in Heavenly Fathers hands and his time schedule. It is so hard to realize that and be patient.

Love you all.

Learning to lean.....

So I have had my anxiety most my adult life, mix that with OCD, and PTSD it is not pretty. I have had to deal with it alone so having people I can talk to and lean on when I need them is something new to me.

I used to be ashamed of my issues, I would try so hard to hide it, and I definitely did not talk about it with anyone.

I started to talk more about it this past October. It has been amazing to have people that understand and that are truly there for me it has truly been amazing and I am loving it.

Jance is amazing and he helps me cope with it all. Some days are way harder than others and some days are the best.

I also have awesome in laws that understand and help me through bad days.

I have learned that I am perfect the way I am, I have learned to lean on others when I need them.

It has been an amazing blessing.

I am so thankful for all I am learning and I am truly amazed at the love I have been given.

Jance is a huge blessing and I am so grateful for him every day.

8 months.....(almost)

So this week will mark 8 months since Jance and I have been married/Together. (Yes, I am one of those girls that counts the months.) Jance and I have been through a lot and have learned so very much. Jance is so amazingly awesome and I am so very blessed to be his wife.

We all know that I have some GAD, PTSD and a few other things. They are not easy to deal with but Jance has been so amazing at learning and helping me through it. Jance is so very kind and understanding about it. He has taken on so much, and he does not  complain at all about it. He helps me through all my anxiety attacks and is just there for me.

These past 8 (almost) months have been the most amazing, most spiritual, and I have grown so very much. I am actually happy, the happiest I have ever been. Jance is a dream come true. I never thought that I would find someone like him. He is truly the best man that I could have ever asked for.

I am so very blessed that Heavenly Father put us in each others paths that day. I am grateful that Jance wants to be sealed to me and it is our goal. Jance is amazing and I am so very much in love.

I am excited for the our future. I am blessed to be his wife and I am blessed to be apart of his family.

I am loving life.

Road trip.......

So Jance and I are on a business trip and we have had a case of bad luck we have had some issues with the trailer yesterday and today.

I have learned that life just seems to happen.

To smile through the bad and tough time.

Laugh through the bad and tough time and too look for the silver lining.

And last prayers work. (I already knew this but its nice to be reminded)

Jance and I have had so much time to talk, laugh giggle and most importantly pray together.

We have worked through these rough days side by side as a team. Jance has been so amazingly positive. His parents very very understanding of what's happening.

I am so happy that Heavenly Father gives us these "bad" days to show us how grateful we should be for the things around us and the things we have.

Tonight Jance and I needed to do laundry so we had to find a laundromat in a town we have never been in and stay there for a few hours to do laundry. It was hot and awkward, but Jance and I had a fun time.

We also needed to find a grocery store, which we found and were so grateful for.

I never realized how nice it is to know where the grocery store etc are.

I am so blessed in life.

I am grateful for each and every one of them.

Going to the Temple

So most of you know that I went to the Temple for the first time. I did baptism for the dead. (For you who aren't  LDS people we do baptism for relatives of ours that have passed away so that they have an opportunity to accept Christ and the gospel.)

It was the most AMAZING experience. To be able to stand in for those that did not have the chance to be baptized  here on earth. I felt so peaceful and loved there. It is very hard to put it into words the excitement that I felt.

I know that Heavenly Father was there and I know that those that I was baptized for are grateful to have their work done here for them. It was one of the best experiences of my life and how awesome is it that I got to experience it with my most amazingly awesome husband.

Jance is such an amazing support and I am so excited to keep going to the Temple with him. I am also super excited to be on this crazy adventure of life with him. Jance is amazing and I am blessed to be his wife.

I am so grateful for him and all the things he does for me. Jance is seriously the most caring, loving guy that Heavenly Father could have blessed me with. I am so madly deeply in love with him. I am so excited to see where this life takes us and I know that whatever comes our way we will overcome it together because we are amazing!!

The Temple was amazing and I am blessed that I was able to go.

7 Months...

So I should be doing homework but here it is at midnight and I am writing a blog. I am procrastinating doing homework because as most of you know I am the Queen of procrastinating.

So every once in a while I go back and re-read my Journal. I try to write in it everyday but I get about every other day or so.

Anyways I was reading yesterday about the first night Jance came over and the night he asked me to be his girlfriend. I am going to share what I wrote which is a first for me.

This is what I wrote:

1/12/2015

So I meet Jance Mathia a few months back but we started talking yesterday and he asked me to be his girlfriend I said YES!!!!

I have honestly never felt this way with anyone. I love him. We are talking about getting married. :)

I just hope it is not too good to be true.

He truly is amazing and I love him.

It is crazy that it has only been yesterday and today and I never want to be without Jance. He is amazing and excepts me for who I am.

He does not care about my past or any mistakes I have made. He has my heart. I do not know how he was able to get it but he did and I am glad. I love him with all I have and all I am. I hope and pray that he is mine to keep forever.

We said 4 months till we get married....he will properly purpose soon...I just do not know when.

I am truly blessed to have him. He makes me feel things I did not know I could or would feel.

I never thought this would ever happen but I am sure glad it did.

He is the best!!!

That is what I wrote about Jance the day he asked me to marry him. I know I have said/typed it a lot but I am truly blessed to be married to Jance and I am blessed to be a Mathia. I have learned so very much from the entire family, I am truly grateful for each and every one of them.

I am so in love with Jance and that love just keeps growing and growing and growing. I love him so very much :)

Thank you Jance for seeing past all my flaws and seeing the person that I could be. Thank you for making me finally see my worth and for opening my eyes to the love that Heavenly Father has for me. Thank you for being a worthy Priesthood holder. Thank you for taking care of me and thank you for loving me. You truly are amazing and I am one lucky gal. I am so blessed to be your wife. Thank you for loving me for me and for always being there when I need you. Thank you for seeing me as beautiful when I feel like a huge ugly mess. You are the greatest and I love you to the moon and back.

-K

Counting Blessings and Learning Lessons

I have been so happy lately and I have been counting my blessings.

I am so blessed to live where I live and to have a home with family who love and care about me. I am so grateful for all the love and service I have gotten since I got here.

I am blessed with the most gracious and loving husband I could have ever asked for. Jance is so much more than I thought I deserved.

I am grateful for those that have shown me the love the Heavenly Father has for me. I am grateful that you have taught me that I am worth something and that I am beautiful the way I am.

It is amazing the amount of damage that negative words have on someone. Healing from that damage has taken me quite a while, but I am amazingly proud of myself for the amount of change that I have already accomplished. I still have a ways to go but I am better than I was.

I am blessed with a wonderful opportunity to work from home and that is allowing me to go to school. I am following my dreams and it is amazing to have an awesome husband who supports those dreams.

I am blessed to finally be on the road to becoming healthy. I am thankful for all the love and support.

Another huge blessing in my life is having worthy Priesthood holders around me. I love that Jance is a worthy priesthood holder but is amazing that his brothers and father are also around to give blessings and counsel when needed.

I am blessed in so very many more ways. I am loving life. I am actually truly happy and that feeling is amazing. I wish I could pass it on to others.

I have also learned that Heavenly Father knows me better than I know me and he knows what I need and when I needed it better than I do. Everything is in his time not mine. I am grateful for the Gospel and all the many many many blessings it has brought into my life.

Life is amazing right now and I am loving it, I am truly blessed.