A calling.....

I am going to get a little personal with this one... bear with me.


So Jance and I received a calling. We got the calling last Sunday before we left for our honeymoon and I was nervous and worried that I wouldn't be able to accept it.  Before I meet Jance I wasn't following and living the Gospel as I should have been.

I felt like I wasn't worthy of a calling. I felt forgiven of the sins I had committed but I still didn't feel worthy.  We went and talked with the Bishop and it was amazing he said I was forgiven (I don't know why I need him to tell me ...it just solidified it I guess).

I am so blessed to be in this Ward and with a Family that reassured me that every thing would be okay.

I have been on a very long journey to become worthy and the Temple is my goal and I know some wont understand this but I will be able to go to the Temple in May for the first time ever to do Baptisms for the dead. I never had the opportunity to go as a youth because of choices I was making so I am beyond excited and can not wait for it to be May!!!

I know with out a doubt in my heart or mind that this is the true church of God. I know that Heavenly Father loves me and that he has opened doors and opportunities for me. I know that Jesus died for me and my sins and the sins of the world. I am blessed and grateful for the priesthood. I know that Heavenly Father blessed me with Jance and I will forever be grateful for him. I know that I am a beloved daughter of God and that trails will come my way but he is always on  my side.

I am so beyond blessed in ways I never thought I would be.

Change

Life has a crazy way of giving you what you need when you need it. I know that Heavenly Father is behind it all. I am grateful that he is always looking out for me.

When Jance and I meet I didn't know that I needed him. Here in a few days it will be 2 months since that faithfully day that he came in to my life.

Since being with Jance my anxiety is lower. Yes I still have anxiety attacks and a few other issues but it is so much easier to work through them and get through them with Jance by my side. He helps me through things I thought would haunt me forever.

I never thought I needed someone in the way that Jance is there for me.  I couldn't have asked for a better husband and friend. I am beyond blessed that Jance wants to take me to the temple. We don't just talk about it, it is a goal that will happen.

I never thought that someone would be so accepting of my past and all of my mistakes. I am never thought someone would want me. I felt ugly and felt like I was damaged goods.

 I now know, and not just because of Jance, that I am a beautiful person inside and out. I feel more beautiful than I ever have. It is amazing what can change when your environment changes. It is amazing how a loving and caring relationship can make everything brighter. I am so in love with Jance and I am excited to see where life takes us. I am loving life and all that it is giving us and letting us experience. I am so grateful that I can now ride the rollercoasters of life with Jance.

I am feeling more love then I can ever remember feeling. I am striving every day to be the best me I can be and I am blessed and thankful that Jance is there for me every step of the way.

I was not looking for Jance but I will forever be grateful and thankful that Heavenly Father allowed us to cross paths that fateful day. I am so blessed that we both followed the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

I am so very blessed.

-KM