Reflection

When an important event happens like your 1 year anniversary you reflect on the past year, how much has changed, who you were etc.

Before I met Jance I wasn't in a good place, I had made a few mistakes and was working through a mess of things. I was depressed and trying to figure out where my life was going, I was contemplating why Heavenly Father wanted me to be in Pullman.

I had friends who were very understanding, they listened to me vent,let me cry on their shoulders. They never judged me for my past or the recent mistakes I had made.

I knew Heavenly Father wanted me in Pullman, everything just worked out so fast and easy. I found a job, a place to live, and many blessings. The YSA ward was amazing and helped me through so much, and taught me a lot about being Christ like and forgiveness and the Gospel. The missionaries that were in the area at the time will always have a special place in my heart.

Jance and I met and married in 6 days, I know that Heavenly Fathers hands were gently pushing us towards his plan for us.

I won't lie and say that this year has been super easy, it was hard Jance and I fought for each other in every sense of the term. Jance and I know that we are meant to be together. We know that we were destined to be together. We both followed the promptings that we recived.

This past year has been amazing, hard, wonderful, beautiful, full of lessons and I wouldn't change a thing.

I'm so very much in love with Jance and I'm excited to see where this year takes us.

I want to thank all of you who supported me and helped me through so much. I also want to thank everyone who has supported and supports us.

I'm loving life and I'm happier than I have been in a long time.

I love my husband, our families and the Gospel. It is amazing how little steps can turn in to wonderful blessings.

One year ( a few days early)

Its amazing how much can change in one year. I am starting this blog a few days early so that I can get all of my thoughts and what not out. Here in a few days it will be one year since Jance and I walked into each others lives.

January 11th, 2015 I went to church with a heavy heart and not looking my best. I was in a grey maxi skirt and a hoodie and tennis shoes. I was waiting outside the bishops office waiting to talk to him (I wont get into the topic of why I needed to talk to the bishop). A handsome young man who I had seen a few times and thought he was very cute but I thought I was so very unworthy of any kind of relationship. This young man talked with me for all of church and I then facebooked stalked him and later that evening he came over and asked me to be his girlfriend. When he left my house that evening I had a feeling that I would be with him for the rest of my life. That amazing, handsome man was Jance.

My life has done a completely 365 change from that day. Jance and I were married six (yes six days later). I never thought that I was worthy enough for the love and affection of a nice worthy handsome man. Jance taught me that we are all imperfect in some way. On that day Jance said I was beautiful it does not matter what you wear etc. Jance is so very amazing and I am also very grateful that when I married Jance I became part of the most wonderful family. I am now a Mathia and being one has taught me so very much.

In this past year I have learned more about Christ love, serving others, unconditional love, and have a Christ centered life. I am so very amazed at how many blessings I have been given. Jance is a huge blessing. I have learned so much.

I love this life. I am so grateful for the gospel. It has made my life amazing. I am glad that I know of Heavenly Father's love and the blessing that I am given because he gave his only begotten son. I am so very much in love with the gospel. Jance and I have started reading scriptures and praying together more frequently and it is absolutely amazing how much your days and life can change in a a few days when you are doing the things that Heavenly Father asks you to do.

Some time this year Jance and I will be sealed for time and all eternity I am so very excited that I get to be with my wonderful Husband forever. Jance is my everything and I am so very excited to see where the next few years take us.

I am not going to pretend that this year has been easy. It has been hard and we have had our ups and downs but we have come out stronger. We followed the promptings that we received and there is a quote by Thomas S. Monson "Never postpone a prompting" and that is what that we did. We both knew and know that Heavenly Father wanted us to get married and we were following the still small voice.

I have learned so much and I will forever be grateful that Jance walked into my life that day. I have been so blessed.

This past year has be absolutely amazing I am so amazed at what I have learned and how I have grown physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I am so excited to be on this journey with Jance by my side. I am so excited that we are side by side, we are a team.

I am thrilled to see what adventures await us.  

A year ago on January 17th, Jance and I knew we were going to get married. We drove up to CDA, ID and has we were driving up there we both felt guilty that we were being so secretive. So Jance called his Dad (tried to get Dad to tell Mom) and then He called AJ. Most of Jance family came up to witness our little ceremony. We were just going to go in front of a judge or the hitching post, Mom did not want us getting married there. Jana and Chris set up our ceremony at the Roosevelt Inn and we had the most perfect little ceremony. Amanda came up and took pictures it truly was an amazing day.

We know some people were and still are a little  upset but please try to understand that we were doing what Heavenly Father was prompting us to do.

On that day I married the man that Heavenly Father made for me. I got to marry my best friend and I also became part of an amazing family. I will forever be grateful for the love and support that we were given that day.

I have /had a lot of baggage and Jance accepted me baggage and all. This  year has gone by so fast. I am so in awe of how much as changed in just one year.

I know now that what I was going through and what I have been through was preparing me for Jance, and the life we would have together.

I would not change a thing. I am so in love with Jance and I am so grateful to be a part of this family.

I love hearing people tell me that Jance and I just fit together. I also love hearing them say that they can tell how much we love each other just by the way we look at each other.

I am so excited to see where our lives lead us, and to be on this wonderful journey of life with Jance.

A new year

It is 126 in the morning. I'm on my mom's couch watching tv. My mind is racing with thoughts of how amazing this year will be and how this year is off to an amazing start.

I am so excited to see where this year takes us.

We have been so blessed this past year and 2016 will be so very amazing. We are planning to go to Wyoming in the fall so Jance can go to school. We are putting our dream of becoming parents on hold for now. We trust that we will become parents when the time is right. It is in Heavenly Fathers hands.

We will be sealed sometime this year, hopefully sooner than later.

As I grow older and wiser I am realizing how much I've changed. Change used to scare me. I used to hate change and the thought of it would send me into a panic attack. I now see that change isn't always bad. Change can be a good thing. I've changed so much this past year. I've grown in all aspects of my life. I'm in such a better place than I was this time a year ago.

I don't know where life is going to take us but I know that no matter what comes our way as long as we stick together united as a team, Jance and I can conquer the world.

Life is amazing if you let it be. I'm no longer going to hold myself back, I am going to be more positive and let go of things that aren't in my control. I am going to do better at school and life in general. I am no longer going to let my anxiety, ptsd, ocd and depression dictate my life. Bare with me as I make these changes I am not perfect so it may take awhile but I'm going to make these changes and it will be amazing.

I have an amazing family, amazing support and most of all my best friend, my other half, the love of my life who happens to be the most amazing Husband in the world.

We aren't perfect but we are perfect for each other.