My Hysterectomy

So as most of you should know I am having a hysterectomy. I have a disease called Adenomyosis.  I have terrible cramps, bleeding, pain and it doesn't just last for 7 days. There is no cure for Adenomyosis. There are treatments but we've tried them all and nothing has worked so the final step is to have a hysterectomy. I will be keeping my ovaries, but my fallopian tube's, uterus and cervix will all be taken. 

This has been a huge emotional roller coaster. As this obviously means I'll never be pregnant again. I'll never have another positive pregnancy test. Jance and I will never have biological children. It's always been a dream of mine to be a mother. A dream to be pregnant and carry to full term. A dream to take maternity pictures. It's a lot to let go of and I'm having a hard time with it.  I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for us and yes we plan on adopting (that has always been apart of our plan). While we will love those children like they are our own because they will be ours. I am still letting go of dreams I've had since I was a little girl. 

I've been having a lot of anxiety and depression about it but it's getting better. I've received a few priesthood blessings and I've been praying a lot. I know that I need this surgery and that it will help my quality of life. 

I've realized that I need to let go of My plan for my life and to follow and allow Heavenly Fathers plan for my life. 

-KM