Wow this year has gone by super fast.
As I reflect on where I was physically, mentally and emotionally I can tell I have grown in all aspects of my life.
I feel so much closer to my Father in Heaven. I know that the gospel is true. I am so excited to get sealed to Jance (no we do not have a day set yet). Life is hard but so amazing.
These past 11 months have changed my world in such an amazing way. This year always brings up bad memories, it has definitely been a better Christmas season. Last year I cooked for about 12, I had an amazing day but I felt incredibly sad and alone ( I also was not living the way I should have).
I never thought that I was worthy for a man like Jance. He is the most amazing husband and as we wait for Christmas to get here so that we can see if we will have a little bundle of joy I know that he will be an amazing dad. I am so grateful that Jance walked into my life.
In other news, as most of you know my Step Father and I have never really seen eye to eye. I have been praying and praying about how to fix it and it came clear as day to call him my DAD. He was/is my dad. He provided for me, was there for me when I thought he would hate me. I was a terrible teenager (I won't get into what I did just know I was bad), I treated him like crap, pulled the you aren't my real Dad routine, I hurt him. Now as I type this with tears running down my face, I truly regret how bad I was. I guess we grow with age. I regret that because of my actions its taken us years to become close. He is my Dad and he always will be.
He danced the daddy daughter dance with me at both my weddings. He has seen me at my absolute worst and still loved me. He was always there even when I wouldn't let him be. Dad if you read this (I am hoping mom will show you) please know that I am sorry and I do love you.
I am so blessed that he is in my life.
I cannot wait to see where this next year takes not only me but Jance as well.
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